What do I need to change in order to be happy?
Being innately happy is not something that can be accomplished over night, especially if there are hurdles to overcome. I would suggest first taking a look at your own mental health. If you have a mental health issue, you may need to seek professional treatment. Being “happy” is not always as easy as others make it sound. Additionally there is no way you will ever feel happy every moment of the day. Keep in mind that without the bad, we cannot recognize the good.
Next, you need to make a choice or decision based on your current mental health status that you want to be happy or happier. Happiness is ultimately a choice, despite all the struggles you might be facing or past trauma and grief. Nobody is saying that you shouldn’t feel bad about things that have happened to you, but if you feel they are preventing you from being happier, it is time to process those issues and practice different ways of doing things to bring more joy into your life. This decision isn’t always the easiest, as sometimes we are “ok” with just being “content.” Occasionally we even feel that we need to have negative emotions. While it is true that negative emotions can help to you to process situations, you do not have to live in a state of unhappiness constantly.
Then, you need to figure out exactly what makes you feel joy and what changes need to be made to make that happen. Writing these things down will help and allow you to visualize what you need to focus on. This can be a long process and will require you to rewire your brain and focus on positive thoughts and intentions. You might have to open you mind to things you have never tried before or even consider the things that used to make you feel happy when you were a kid. The possibilities are endless. Don’t think that one size fits all or that just because one thing didn’t work, something else won’t work either. Keep trying until you discover that spark.
Some practical things, that do impact your happiness, that you might consider changing include; your career path, your relationship, your diet, your fitness level, your social interactions and your home environment. Many times people choose their profession to make their parents happy…why? Do what inspires you! If you are not getting your needs met in a relationship, why are you still in that relationship or at least trying to resolve the issues? Your diet and fitness level play a huge role in your mental wellbeing, so maybe it’s time to do something about it. If people are not being supportive in your life, but are instead sucking the joy and energy out of you, they need to go! This doesn’t mean that you have to rid people from your life forever, but rather you will control when, where and how much time you spend with them. You let them interact with you on your terms. Build your self-esteem, self-worth and learn how to set boundaries. Know that you will be happy, then get going on making those changes today.