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The 3 Biggest Factors That Are Preventing You From Being Happy

So, you want to start making some changes in your life, but you don’t know where to start. You need to first identify what has been truly holding you back. There are so many things that hold people back from moving forward with making significant life changes. Most of reasons are very personal to each individual and might actually be excuses. Some of the most common things that hold people back have everything to do with their own choices, habits and behaviors.

You Work a 9-5

Did you trade your dream to work a 9-5 job, or did you “follow” the career you thought you needed to have to be successful? You probably listened to everyone else about what you needed to do to have a “happy” life. You’ve been playing it safe. Clinging to what is familiar and safe is easy. You don’t have to get out of your comfort zone when you continue to work for others and do what others tell you to do. The fear of the unknown prevents most people from breaking this cycle.

In this day in age, we do not need to attend a fancy college to be successful anymore. We were raised by a generation that did not have the luxury of the internet and being able to follow their dreams like we do now. They raised us exactly how they were raised. You might not be able to give up your job immediately, but you can start thinking about what you are truly passionate and enthusiastic about in life. Post COVID-19 we now have the rise of the “gig economy” and more and more people are quitting their 9-5 jobs to become freelancers. The possibilities are now truly endless. Start with thinking about the following. What did you want to be when you were a child? Does that still hold true today? Is the “American Dream” your dream?

If you have a complete lack of direction, start by auditing your life. What do you want in life? What do you enjoy doing? Can you monetize doing something that makes you happy? If you could do anything in the world, if money was not an object, what would you do? Nine times out of 10, that answer will give you a hint at what you should be doing. Do not take anyone else’s opinion when thinking about these things. Maybe you want more financial freedom, time or just to own your own home. Once you get real with yourself and realize your ultimate goal, you need to take action.

Now following your passion may be as simple as finding a new job with greater time flexibility. For many, truly following their passion will take a lot more time and effort to achieve. DO NOT GIVE UP! Create a plan and execute it. Stop spending the extra time you have watching TV and playing games on your phone, start making real life changes today! Sites like Skillshare will help you learn new skills.

Give these tips a try:

• Answer these questions as honestly as possible: What is my ultimate goal in life? What is preventing me from perusing that goal? Who depends on me having a “job”? What can be put on the back burner while I pursue my dreams? Am I trying to impress others? If so, why? Why did I originally abandon my dreams? Need help, click here.
• Audit your finances and time. Where does it all currently go? Dave Ramsey has some great advice on how to get your financial sh*t together.
• Find 3 things that bring a smile to your face. Ideally one that can keep you healthy, one that can keep you happy and one that can potentially make you wealthy…or a combination.
• Discover what makes you unhappy. Once you identify these major factors, you can figure out what to avoid or try to change. Be really honest with this.

Wake up!

Most people are on autopilot nowadays. They wake up, go to work or school, come home, eat, watch TV and go to bed. Obviously, we do more in a day, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. We rarely even drive a different way to work or go to a different grocery store. I was living like this for most of my life. I did what I was told to do. I studied hard, did well in school and went to college to eventually become a nurse. I was rarely in trouble and tried my best to be nice to everyone. I loved watching TV, eating out at restaurants and going shopping. Sound familiar? It should be very familiar, because that’s the way our society has molded us to be…consumers and cogs. Doing a lot of research and soul searching, I’ve come to the realization that we have been purposefully groomed to follow these patterns. By following the rules and the so-called “American Dream” we have actually been held back.

I was raised to believe that I needed a college degree to be successful and that “normal” people get married and have children…oh yeah and don’t forget to buy a house (which is typically what our parents were also raised to believe)! Well, my life did not go quite as planned, as least not on paper. After a few devastating events that I thought I would never recover from, I did! While I was soul searching and looking for answers to everything, I found that we have been conditioned over many generations. I also realized that the things that once worked and most likely worked for my parents, no longer are necessary to survive and thrive. I think the veil is slowly being lifted for the majority of us, but the older generations still do not necessarily see the differences and expect younger generations to follow the status quo. One silver lining of the COVID-19 pandemic is that it allowed more people to truly identify what really matters in life.

Now looking back, as a child of the awesome 80’s myself, I realized why I do the things I do. While I thought my childhood was great, I had no clue how getting my weekly (or sometimes more) Happy Meal and obsessing about having cable TV was exactly what the big corporations and government wanted me to do to keep me buying and becoming unhealthy into adulthood. Then they could make more money off me by treating my unhealthy lifestyle with more products and services (I’ve heard reports that some companies purposefully made their foods addictive to keep customers coming back for more despite the potential health risks). The book “Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us” investigates this issue in depth. Not only were my parents doing these things, but so were my grandparents. We thought we were living the good life…working and buying and consuming. No blame goes to my parents or grandparents, they were doing what they thought was right at the time. I could get even more “Matrix” on you and talk about the other things that have been hidden from society, but I’ll save that for a future post.

So, it’s time to wake up! Do some research, get out of your comfort zone and be open-minded. Figure out why you were raised the way you were raised. Ask yourself if that way works for you and your family now. What were you exposed to as a child? If it was its consumerism and fast food, maybe that is why you think you need “things” and you can’t quite shed those last 20 pounds. DO not live your life on autopilot, wake up and do something!

Start opening your eyes by trying a few of these tips:

• Watch Ted Talks and YouTube to learn about everything you’ve ever wanted to know. Be mindful that some things on the internet cannot be trusted so do your research. A few topics that might be really eye opening include, the pineal gland or third eye, the war on drugs, how the Federal Reserve works and the US government, how companies have impacted society and how the low fat diet has failed us. For reading on The Federal Reserve or if you want to learn even more, I recommend you read the book “A History of the Federal Reserve” by Allan H. Meltzer.
• Try things you had previously dismissed. If you were told that just because you’re a man or a woman you can do such and such, do it! If you’ve always wanted to bake and you’re a man…who cares, do it! If you are a woman and have always wanted to play paint ball, do it!
• READ! Learn about philosophy, learn about the future of business, or how to break free from whatever it is you need to break free from. Click here for some of the best books I’ve read that have impacted me on so many levels in so many different ways. Study those who are truly wealthy, happy, healthy, have followed their passion, happily married, spiritually in-tune, and those who have thrived despite setbacks or trauma.

Your mindset needs a reset.

You’re unhappy and you’re complaining. That’s just the way things are right? WRONG! Do not, I repeat, do not go through life thinking things are just the way they are or that just how the world works. Stop thinking that you’re a victim of your circumstances. Stop blaming others for what is happening to you or for things you are choosing not to change. You are not where you are today because of what your past has given to you. Of course, you have been impacted by your past mentally and possibly physically, but you can choose to overcome whatever has happened and do things differently. You can start today! No need to feel bad about being ultimately responsible for your current situation. You can make choices to change your entire life and get you and your family where you all deserve to be. Adjust your mindset and know you can do it!

Try resetting your mindset by doing some of the following:

• Stop blaming others for that which you control. Your boss is not the problem, you can choose to work somewhere else. Your weight is not due to the fact that you can’t live without sugar (trust me, I’m right there with you), it could be that you are addicted to sugar, and you can choose to quit.
• Take the initiative. Change starts with you. If you don’t like reading or cannot power through an hour-long tutorial, then work on those issues. Do things that will bring you greater benefit, even if it means temporary discomfort. We expect instant gratification and as adults we should be able to overcome that impulse. Use your resources as well…if your kid knows how to use Instagram and you don’t, have them teach you. Get with the times and start making moves. Don’t stop learning and doing.
• Be self-aware at all costs. Start using your strengths and work on your weaknesses (but not too much). If you are awesome at communicating, use that to your advantage and start reaching out or networking. If you are great at being creative, figure out if you can make money by using that skill. If you hate reading, listen to audio books. If you are not good at math, find an automated way to manage your finances. Stop thinking that you can’t do something, find a way to do it! Believe in yourself and know there is a way to accomplish whatever you need to do; you just need to find the way that works for you. The book Emotional Intelligence might help get you started.
• Start looking for the good in others and be happy for their achievements. You’d be surprised how often we think negatively. We see somebody who is succeeding and think oh they must have had rich parents, or they are just being fake. Well maybe that’s true, but what is that kind of thinking doing for you? Positive thoughts bring about positive change. If someone is doing well, say, “Good for them, I am successful too.” Get in the mindset that you already are successful. If you haven’t already read or watched The Secret, do so as soon as possible.

There are so many things that could be holding you back. If you want to have real change you need to dig deep and find out what is actually preventing you from making progress and following your dreams. Stop following what your parents told you to do or what you “thought” you needed to do to be happy. Stop being afraid to make bold changes and turn your autopilot switch off right now. Definitely don’t let your ego hold you back by thinking being positive is “uncool.”

In addition to the aforementioned steps, stop thinking money is the root of all evil…money is a tool made of atoms with energy. Everything is made of energy and if you tie money to something negative, that’s exactly what it will be for you.

Figure out what you’re passionate about, wake the f*#k up and change your mindset. You can make big things happen, but it starts with you.